March 4, 2018
5 Tips to Cope with Family Law Proceedings
There is no getting away from the fact that family proceedings of any type are extremely stressful.
In particular, the lead up to a final hearing understandably triggers off a high level of anxiety and fear of the unknown. These feelings inevitably have an impact on day to day life.
We have put together some tips we hope will help you through this difficult period:
1. Don't allow the stress to define you
2. Don't be afraid to ask for help
3. Let go of what you cannot control
4. Ask questions
5. Look to the future.
In particular, the lead up to a final hearing understandably triggers off a high level of anxiety and fear of the unknown. These feelings inevitably have an impact on day to day life.
We have put together some tips we hope will help you through this difficult period:
1. Don't allow the stress to define you
2. Don't be afraid to ask for help
3. Let go of what you cannot control
4. Ask questions
5. Look to the future.
1. Do Not Allow the Stress to Define you
Make sure you keep busy with interests (or find new ones), hobbies and spend time with positive friends and family members doing things you enjoy. Relationship breakdowns and disputes over children can yield unwanted ‘advice’ from others, so try to avoid those who are only interested in being caught up in the drama!
2. Get Support
Don’t keep your feelings or the fact you are struggling a secret. If you need help and to talk then let somebody know. A good starting point is your GP, but private counselling is also readily available so don’t be afraid to access it.
3. Let Go of What You Cannot Control
You need to accept you cannot change a person or their attitude to a situation. Remain focused on the things you can control and let go of the rest. Don’t allow yourself to get wound up or drawn into petty conflicts. We see this happen a lot and it will only lead to heightened tension and stress. Try to remain focused on the bigger picture.
4. Ask Questions
Knowledge is empowering. If there is anything you don’t understand about the proceedings, then ask your solicitor to explain it again. Knowing what to expect can make the process far less daunting. If your only experience of the courts has been watching Suits`, you need to be reassured that the family courts are very different to this!
5. Look to the Future
Life will go on after this and it’s good to spend time thinking about new hopes, goals, dreams and moving on.
Legal Advice
To book a confidential, no-obligation consultation with one of our team of divorce lawyers and children lawyers you can call us on 020 7993 2936 or make a Contact Request here.
Alternatively, you can Get Started Online to receive a Free Confidential Report outlining your position.
Filed Under: Insight
INSIGHT|November 29, 2022
Is Private Financial Dispute Resolution a Good Idea?
Although it is not a legal requirement to separate your finances when you divorce, it is advisable to do so.
You can reach an agreement about your divorce finances between yourselves and this is usually preferential to going to Court. However, your divorce settlement must be approved by the Court to be legally binding.
The Court will look for evidence that the financial settlement is fair and meets both of your needs without putting one person under undue pressure or hardship.
As the concepts of fairness and hardship are subjective, it can be difficult to reach an agreement that you both consider to meet these criteria. In this situation, you can request that the Court makes the decision about how to separate your marital finances for you.
You can reach an agreement about your divorce finances between yourselves and this is usually preferential to going to Court. However, your divorce settlement must be approved by the Court to be legally binding.
The Court will look for evidence that the financial settlement is fair and meets both of your needs without putting one person under undue pressure or hardship.
As the concepts of fairness and hardship are subjective, it can be difficult to reach an agreement that you both consider to meet these criteria. In this situation, you can request that the Court makes the decision about how to separate your marital finances for you.
INSIGHT|November 29, 2022
Should we go to Court or Arbitration to settle our Divorce?
When your relationship breaks down there is a lot to decide and it can be difficult to agree on everything.
If you have different views on what is fair, disputes about finances, property and children can continue for months or even years.
If you are unable to reach a compromise through other means, you might consider Family Arbitration as an alternative to Divorce Court.
This blog outlines the process of Divorce Arbitration, highlighting some of the key advantages and disadvantages to help you decide whether to consider it as an option.
If you have different views on what is fair, disputes about finances, property and children can continue for months or even years.
If you are unable to reach a compromise through other means, you might consider Family Arbitration as an alternative to Divorce Court.
This blog outlines the process of Divorce Arbitration, highlighting some of the key advantages and disadvantages to help you decide whether to consider it as an option.
INSIGHT|May 4, 2022
Can I Change My Child Maintenance Payments?
As your children grow, both your circumstances and their circumstances will change. It may be necessary to vary the amount of child maintenance paid each month.
The route to change child maintenance payments depends on whether you are making Court-ordered payments or whether your child maintenance is dealt with by the Child Maintenance Service (CMS).
In this blog we focus on the options available to a paying parent who needs to reduce child maintenance payments. However, the same principles of process apply to a receiving parent who wishes to increase payments.
It is important to remember that the repercussions of reducing or stopping payments without agreement are serious and can have a long term effect on your financial situation. It is therefore advisable to take advice from a specialist at the earliest opportunity.
The route to change child maintenance payments depends on whether you are making Court-ordered payments or whether your child maintenance is dealt with by the Child Maintenance Service (CMS).
In this blog we focus on the options available to a paying parent who needs to reduce child maintenance payments. However, the same principles of process apply to a receiving parent who wishes to increase payments.
It is important to remember that the repercussions of reducing or stopping payments without agreement are serious and can have a long term effect on your financial situation. It is therefore advisable to take advice from a specialist at the earliest opportunity.
INSIGHT|April 4, 2022
How are Gender Recognition Laws Changing in UK?
A survey published by BBC Scotland in February shows 57% of respondents think it should be easier for trans people to obtain a Gender Recognition Certificate. This goes up to 70% in the 16 to 34 year-old age group, signalling a brighter future for the local transgender community.
Following five years of consultation, the Gender Recognition Act Reform Bill was heard by the Scottish Parliament at the beginning of March. The proposals include reducing the waiting time from two years to three months; removing the need for a medical diagnosis; and reducing the minimum age to apply for a Gender Recognition Certificate from 16.
The proposals are welcomed by Scottish Trans, but they believe the reforms "would still see Scotland with a gender recognition law that is far from world-leading". Where does this leave the trans community south of the border?
Following five years of consultation, the Gender Recognition Act Reform Bill was heard by the Scottish Parliament at the beginning of March. The proposals include reducing the waiting time from two years to three months; removing the need for a medical diagnosis; and reducing the minimum age to apply for a Gender Recognition Certificate from 16.
The proposals are welcomed by Scottish Trans, but they believe the reforms "would still see Scotland with a gender recognition law that is far from world-leading". Where does this leave the trans community south of the border?
INSIGHT|March 7, 2022
Break the Bias When Parents Separate
There have been huge changes in attitudes towards women, family and relationships; but there is still a clear stereotype in parenting roles.
Women generally take the lead in caring for children and this can leave them in a vulnerable situation if their relationship ends.
We highlight this issue for married and unmarried mothers, discussing how Prenuptial Agreements and Cohabitation Contracts can #BreakTheBias when parents separate.
International Women's Day 2022 #IWD2022
Women generally take the lead in caring for children and this can leave them in a vulnerable situation if their relationship ends.
We highlight this issue for married and unmarried mothers, discussing how Prenuptial Agreements and Cohabitation Contracts can #BreakTheBias when parents separate.
International Women's Day 2022 #IWD2022
INSIGHT|March 2, 2022
How are Divorce Laws Changing? “No Fault Divorce”
As one of the firms campaigning for no-fault divorce, we are pleased that it will soon be here, but what does it really mean for couples who are divorcing? How are divorce laws changing? Should you wait for the new divorce laws?
Designed to reduce conflict in divorce proceedings, No-Fault Divorce will remove the need to appoint blame for the breakdown of a marriage or civil partnership and allow couples to make a joint divorce application.
This is a significant change to family law in England and Wales, which has traditionally required one spouse to divorce the other, usually on the grounds that their actions caused the relationship to fail.
Designed to reduce conflict in divorce proceedings, No-Fault Divorce will remove the need to appoint blame for the breakdown of a marriage or civil partnership and allow couples to make a joint divorce application.
This is a significant change to family law in England and Wales, which has traditionally required one spouse to divorce the other, usually on the grounds that their actions caused the relationship to fail.
INSIGHT|January 18, 2022
Could Mediation Help you Resolve your Family Law Dispute?
Mediation is the most popular form of Alternative Dispute Resolution and has much positive feedback.
It is a practice intended to help people in dispute reach agreement on their own - so that you do not need to involve the Courts.
The idea is that you discuss the situation directly with the other person and try to reach an agreement between you. However, you are able to take independent legal advice at any stage of mediation and it is possible for a solicitor and / or other professionals to attend mediation with you.
All mediation is overseen by a trained and impartial third person, known as the mediator.
It is a practice intended to help people in dispute reach agreement on their own - so that you do not need to involve the Courts.
The idea is that you discuss the situation directly with the other person and try to reach an agreement between you. However, you are able to take independent legal advice at any stage of mediation and it is possible for a solicitor and / or other professionals to attend mediation with you.
All mediation is overseen by a trained and impartial third person, known as the mediator.
INSIGHT|December 15, 2021
Using a Child Contact Centre
It is usually better for children to maintain contact with both of their parents after separation, but this can be difficult for many reasons.
It is common for a parent to leave the family home without a fixed address, meaning they do not have anywhere appropriate to take their child.
There will sometimes be extreme circumstances that led to the separation, or it may simply be that the parents’ emotions are too raw and they cannot face seeing each other.
This can be difficult for children who feel caught in the middle.
It is common for a parent to leave the family home without a fixed address, meaning they do not have anywhere appropriate to take their child.
There will sometimes be extreme circumstances that led to the separation, or it may simply be that the parents’ emotions are too raw and they cannot face seeing each other.
This can be difficult for children who feel caught in the middle.
INSIGHT|December 8, 2021
Could a Co-Parenting App help you Stay Child-Focused?
Navigating arrangements for children and ensuring their lives remain as unaffected as possible after separation can be difficult; particularly in the early stages when you may feel like your life has been turned upside down and you are still negotiating aspects of your settlement.
Apps can provide a focused method of communication which is solely about the children.
Many parents find that apps help them keep on top of their children’s lives and minimise conflict. If communication between parents is breaking down in other settings, such as face to face or by WhatsApp, a co-parenting app can ensure there is always an open channel of communication to make arrangements for your children.
Apps can provide a focused method of communication which is solely about the children.
Many parents find that apps help them keep on top of their children’s lives and minimise conflict. If communication between parents is breaking down in other settings, such as face to face or by WhatsApp, a co-parenting app can ensure there is always an open channel of communication to make arrangements for your children.
INSIGHT|December 3, 2021
Could Child Inclusive Mediation Help You Agree Child Arrangements?
It is common for separating parents who have their child’s best interests at heart to have different views on what that means.
It is a time of great change and emotion for everyone and it can be difficult to set that aside and reach an agreement between you.
Court proceedings are stressful for all concerned and there is significant delay in the system, but there are alternatives.
We highlight Child Inclusive Mediation as an alternative means of resolving children matters, which can help you lay the foundations for a strong co-parenting relationship moving forward.
It is a time of great change and emotion for everyone and it can be difficult to set that aside and reach an agreement between you.
Court proceedings are stressful for all concerned and there is significant delay in the system, but there are alternatives.
We highlight Child Inclusive Mediation as an alternative means of resolving children matters, which can help you lay the foundations for a strong co-parenting relationship moving forward.
INSIGHT|December 2, 2021
Practical Ideas to Continue Contact with your Child
When parents separate, it is common for children to live with one parent more of the time. Whichever parent they are with, it is natural for them to miss the other.
What can parents do to make it easier for children and show that they are still valued by both?
First remember there are many types of contact and if your child misses you, there is rarely a good reason that contact should be limited to the days they see you.
In the age of telephones and video calls, children should be able to speak to both of their parents every day if they want to. You can also write, email and communicate on social media if it is appropriate for your child.
What can parents do to make it easier for children and show that they are still valued by both?
First remember there are many types of contact and if your child misses you, there is rarely a good reason that contact should be limited to the days they see you.
In the age of telephones and video calls, children should be able to speak to both of their parents every day if they want to. You can also write, email and communicate on social media if it is appropriate for your child.
INSIGHT|December 1, 2021
Could a Parenting Plan Help Your Child?
One of the most difficult discussions parents have when they separate is about what happens to the children.
It is natural for this conversation to focus on where they will live and when they will have contact with each parent. It is not easy to know what else to discuss and how to approach it.
Preparing a Parenting Plan will help you consider the entirety of arrangements for your child and how you will work together to parent them moving forward.
By considering situations before they occur, you can provide more certainty and a more positive environment for your child.
It is natural for this conversation to focus on where they will live and when they will have contact with each parent. It is not easy to know what else to discuss and how to approach it.
Preparing a Parenting Plan will help you consider the entirety of arrangements for your child and how you will work together to parent them moving forward.
By considering situations before they occur, you can provide more certainty and a more positive environment for your child.
INSIGHT|November 29, 2021
Five Steps to Keep Your Child’s Needs at the Forefront of Separation
Separations are often referred to as an emotional roller-coaster because of the intense highs and lows and it can be easy to lose sight of children within this myriad of emotions.
How parents behave during a divorce or separation will have an impact on the happiness, health and wellbeing of their children.
To minimise the negative effects, it is important to bear this in mind from the outset and set a tone for the separation that keeps your child’s needs at the forefront.
We have prepared five practical steps that can be taken to ensure your child’s needs come first and that a strong foundation is laid for a positive co-parenting relationship.
How parents behave during a divorce or separation will have an impact on the happiness, health and wellbeing of their children.
To minimise the negative effects, it is important to bear this in mind from the outset and set a tone for the separation that keeps your child’s needs at the forefront.
We have prepared five practical steps that can be taken to ensure your child’s needs come first and that a strong foundation is laid for a positive co-parenting relationship.
INSIGHT|September 29, 2021
How do I know if our Prenuptial Agreement is Fair?
A Prenuptial Agreement (prenup) might not seem romantic, but many couples find the process of preparing one to be a bonding experience, ensuring they enter their union with openness and honesty.
A Prenuptial Agreement allows couples to have a degree of self-regulation over their affairs and set out from the outset what will happen if they separate.
It is not about trying to make sure your new spouse does not get anything, but allows couples the opportunity to decide what would be fair for themselves. Most people find it easier to do this when they are experiencing the best of times.
A Prenuptial Agreement allows couples to have a degree of self-regulation over their affairs and set out from the outset what will happen if they separate.
It is not about trying to make sure your new spouse does not get anything, but allows couples the opportunity to decide what would be fair for themselves. Most people find it easier to do this when they are experiencing the best of times.
INSIGHT|September 22, 2021
Why should Pensions be included in Divorce Settlements?
The starting point in England for dividing assets when you get divorced or dissolve your civil partnership is to split everything equally. That is only the starting point, every case is different and turns on individual facts, but the key word is everything.
Every couple needs to consider every asset available to each person before they can decide what a fair division of assets looks like.
Pensions can often be the biggest asset an individual has, but they are often overlooked, why is this?
Many people simply do not realise that the pension can be shared. Others do not appreciate the long-term value of their spouse’s pension and either knowingly overlook it or agree for it to be offset in a way that does not provide the same level of benefit.
Every couple needs to consider every asset available to each person before they can decide what a fair division of assets looks like.
Pensions can often be the biggest asset an individual has, but they are often overlooked, why is this?
Many people simply do not realise that the pension can be shared. Others do not appreciate the long-term value of their spouse’s pension and either knowingly overlook it or agree for it to be offset in a way that does not provide the same level of benefit.
INSIGHT|March 31, 2021
Does BREXIT change rules Parental Child Abduction?
Unless you have a court order, you need the consent of everyone who has parental responsibility before you can take a child overseas. This is the case even if you have parental responsibility and the child really wants to go. Even if it is only for a few days you still need the consent of everyone who holds parental responsibility.
The only exception in England and Wales is if you have a court order directing that you can take the child abroad or if you have a Child Arrangements Order that states the child lives with you, in which case you can usually take them overseas for up to 28 days without seeking consent.
If a parent, guardian or relative takes or keeps a child overseas without the agreement of everyone who has parental responsibility, it is known as International Parental Child Abduction, which is a serious offence.
The only exception in England and Wales is if you have a court order directing that you can take the child abroad or if you have a Child Arrangements Order that states the child lives with you, in which case you can usually take them overseas for up to 28 days without seeking consent.
If a parent, guardian or relative takes or keeps a child overseas without the agreement of everyone who has parental responsibility, it is known as International Parental Child Abduction, which is a serious offence.
INSIGHT|March 31, 2021
Has BREXIT changed International Child Arrangements?
It is natural to have concerns about child arrangements when your child, or their other parent, lives in another country. You might have agreed to a move within the EU knowing that, if needed, Court Orders from this country would be enforceable in the EU. Has Brexit changed that?
As the UK has now fully transitioned from the European Union, there are some subtle but potentially significant changes for parents whose child arrangements involve an EU country.
The UK is no longer subject to the EU laws governing family law, known as Brussels 1, but we are committed to an international agreement known as the Hague Convention. The Hague Convention has been signed by 35 countries including all members of the EU and sets out rules for dealing with parental responsibility, residence, contact and the protection of children across borders. The overriding principles are the same as EU law, but some of the specific applications vary.
As the UK has now fully transitioned from the European Union, there are some subtle but potentially significant changes for parents whose child arrangements involve an EU country.
The UK is no longer subject to the EU laws governing family law, known as Brussels 1, but we are committed to an international agreement known as the Hague Convention. The Hague Convention has been signed by 35 countries including all members of the EU and sets out rules for dealing with parental responsibility, residence, contact and the protection of children across borders. The overriding principles are the same as EU law, but some of the specific applications vary.
INSIGHT|December 21, 2020
Achieve Your Life Goals Series: Understand how your Relationships can affect your Business
SPEAKERS: LOUISE ALLARD AND SABRINA BAILEY
HOSTED BY: FRESH BUSINESS THINKING
DATE: TUESDAY 19TH JANUARY 2020
WATCH REPLAY: CLICK HERE
HOSTED BY: FRESH BUSINESS THINKING
DATE: TUESDAY 19TH JANUARY 2020
WATCH REPLAY: CLICK HERE
INSIGHT|November 2, 2020
Achieve Your Life Goals Series: Shield Your Business from Issues in Your Personal Life
Speakers: Louise Allard and Sangeeta Rabadia
Hosted by: Fresh Business Thinking
Date: Tuesday 17th November 2020
WATCH REPLAY: click here
Hosted by: Fresh Business Thinking
Date: Tuesday 17th November 2020
WATCH REPLAY: click here
About Us
As a specialist firm, we focus on all areas of family law and legal matters that affect private wealth. 
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